Welcome To The Jeremy Kyle Show Luis Suarez And Brendan Rodgers.....

JK – Good morning ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show. Today we have with us Luis and Brendan. Luis desperately wants a baby but so far Brendan hasn’t been able to give him one, Luis claims Brendan promised him a baby and after a year of trying without success he wants to end the relationship. Luis has also said he’s had enough of the neighbourhood gossips and wants to move to a new estate. Let’s not wait any longer and bring out Luis.

(Some applause, some booing)

JK – Now Luis, this seems a fairly common situation, tell us your side of the story.

LS- I’m very happy with Brendan but I’ve had enough of the gossips on the council estate and I need to move house. They say things about me that aren’t true and I need to get away from them. They don’t treat me the same way they treat everyone else and it’s not fair.

JK- Is that the real reason? It strikes me that if you’re happy in your relationship you can get past that.

LS – OK, the real reason is that I’m 26 and I want a baby now, I can’t wait any longer. Last summer Brendan promised me a baby within a year and we haven’t had one so I want to leave him and find someone else who can give me the child I want so badly. I’d be a great parent, I really deserve a baby.

JK – What’s your relationship like with Brendan? How does his family treat you?

LS – I’ve had a great year with Brendan, probably the best year of my life so far, but we haven’t managed to have a baby yet. And I really want a baby. His family have been really good with me, even when I wrote horrible things on Facebook and embarrassed them they stuck up for me and always ‘liked’ my status updates. But I’ve had enough of the gossips on the council estate and I want a baby.

JK- We’ve heard from Luis, now let’s bring out Brendan.

(Muted applause)

JK- Welcome to the show Brendan. We’ve heard from Luis, now let’s hear your side of things.

BR- I’ve never promised Luis a baby, I’ve told him we’ll try really hard for one but I’ve never promised he can leave if we don’t have one. I really want a baby too and I want that to happen with Luis.

JK- So you’re saying you’ve never promised him he can leave if you don’t have a baby?

BR- That’s exactly what I’m saying. Luis will be a great parent and deserves a baby, but if he’s patient I can give him that.

JK- And what about all this stuff about the gossips on the council estate?

BR- He’s saying that, but it turns out he now wants a baby with someone else on the same street!!

JK- Is this true Luis?

LS- So what? It’s not like it’s with our next door neighbour or that lot across the road that we don’t get on with, it’s all the way down the other end of the street. And Brendan promised me a baby and I want to leave him.

BR- I never promised him a baby.

JK- Have you been trying much lately?

LS- I tried really hard to get us a baby.

BR- Luis hasn’t tried very hard lately as he’s had an STI for the last few months and it won’t clear up until October time.

JK- Now that is a revelation! Luis, how has Brendan and his family treated you since you’ve had your STI?

LS- They’ve been really good with me, always saying nice things and trying to make me feel better.

JK- And you don’t feel you owe them anything in return?

LS- I want a baby, Brendan promised me a baby. I want someone else to give me a baby now.

JK- So how are you going to find someone else?

LS- I’ve told the neighbourhood gossips that I want a baby with someone else and now I’ll see who comes over to chat me up next time I’m in the pub.

JK- The same neighbourhood gossips you say have been making your life miserable?

LS- Yes, those ones. And Brendan promised me a baby.

BR- I never promised a baby.

JK- Ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s time for a lie detector test…………………